The number one point of this blog is that it's honest. My life is absolutely absurd right now and I'm reminded of this fact daily. I laugh about it daily. Some days I lament about it, as well, but I always laugh.
This is what you need to know:
I don't have daddy issues. I wasn't abused as a child. I'm not on drugs nor have I ever been (in fact I'm the lame-o friend at parties that would rather play board games while everyone else is going to the bathroom to bump a line or two). I don't have any other mouth to feed but my own. I'm actually pretty smart; I went to a good school, got my degree, have a ton of work experience and actually have a job in my field right now. As far as I can tell, the only thing I did wrong was graduate in the middle of a recession and pick a field I was passionate about rather than one that paid me to live. So, all of you "follow your dreams" middle school assembly speakers? Go fuck yourselves. I followed my dreams and I'm desperate to make my rent, pay my student loans, and feed myself every month.
Which brings us to this blog. I do what I can to make ends meet, utilizing all the skills I've learned over the years. I have a few shops on Etsy where I sell things. I'm a self-taught seamstress (well, sort of... my mother tried to teach me in highschool when I still lived at home but we were in that 'alpha female' pissing match stage so it didn't really go so well) and I make a lot of upcycled pieces from thrift store finds. I make some more couture pieces and costumes for photoshoots and performances that I only need for one night and then sell. But thats not all! I'm also really into "green" crafts and do a lot of nature based crafts, like yarn dying and pressed flower crafts and botanicals.
I'm also fairly attractive. This presents it's own opportunities for making money. I started modeling in college and had a very strict policy of what lines I would cross and what lines I wouldn't. Suffice it to say that once the college loan payments kicked in those lines were distant memories. I'm now a pretty popular model on an internet pay site that lets you access photosets of girls (generally naked girls). I've worked parties wearing nothing but bodypaint. When I'm exceptionally desperate, I work at a local foot fetish club and let men play with my feet for 20 bucks a pop.
If you think about, it's all really quite hilarious. So join me on this strange journey as I attempt to make ends meet and laugh along at the craziness of it all.
(Note: you'll notice I have not linked to any of my online ventures. This is intentional. This blog is not about asking you to support me. I don't even want you to know who I am, because then I can't talk about how creepy the situations in my life really are, for fear of offending them and losing that income source. Besides, bad behavior is more fun when it is anonymous)
xoxo,
Craftitute
No comments:
Post a Comment