I can laugh at it now.

Today, boys and girls, we are going to go on a trip down memory lane. Last year, I worked as a booth girl at the New York porn convention.

Here is what you are thinking: A) how did I even stumble INTO that job? B) There is a PORN CONVENTION? C) I didn't realize you did porn!

Well, to work backwards, I don't do porn. At least, not the hardcore penetration on film stuff. Just naked photos which is porn to some, I suppose, but not really. Yeah, there is a convention in NY and Miami and Vegas every year where porn stars converge with a sex toy trade showroom and the (mostly male) public pays insane amounts of money to go inside and see all the decadence. Thanks to a random Craig's List ad,  I worked as a booth girl for a company that was selling their body paint wares, which means I hung around the convention in body paint all weekend. For the most part, it was fun.

Some parts, however, were not.

But let's not get too melancholy, yet. There was a lot to laugh at. After all, it was a porn convention and how can that not be funny in its own right? Like any convention, there was one specific hotel that 95% of the entertainment stayed at. That means that there was one hotel that was 95% porn stars, exotic dancers, sex toy designers, etc. Ok, sounds like fun right? And because the hotel was so booked, we had all the after hour events there, including  the "industry" night dance party (in the hotel lobby, no less). It was filled with hot girls and boys dancing, including yours truly dancing in her body paint.

However, maybe you're seeing where the joke is in this story. It's the other 5% of the guests who were staying in the hotel for the weekend. Because the other 5% were a wedding party. And here is how it went down: the sex industry party is going in full swing in the lobby and a bride walks through the door, in her gown, with her new husband and all her wedding party. At that moment a little person in assless chaps and a leather harness walks past and gives her a heartfelt "congratulations." The groomsmen get shit eating grins on their faces and start hi-fiving one another. The bride promptly breaks into tears and runs away to the elevator.

Look at that chiseled plastic Ken-ass. The scene looked pretty identical to this picture... except you know, he was wearing something similar in leather and was smaller than the bride. Seriously.

Part II to come later this week.