New Photographer: An Update

Okay, I have to admit I jumped the gun. For those of you who read this post I regret to inform you that I have to rescind some of the comments. Mainly the good ones. Well, okay, not ALL of the good comments, but you remember the part where I said that this particular photographer wasn't a creeper? I was incorrect.

Yesterday, I went back to the photographers studio to pick up prints from last week's shoot and to shoot again. Why not? We had such a good rapport while shooting and I had a hunch the photos would blow my mind. And that part is true... I've modeled for a number of years now, and some of these shots made me stop and stare. Yet... as I looked, he commented that he generally hateed "fake" emotion and that he was impressed at how "real" and "genuine" the photos turned out (he was referring, of course, to the fact that I wasn't actually masturbating or orgasming in the photos, but looked like i could be). This should have been my first warning.

Ok, so the shoot starts. At first it's some fun dress up: stockings, vintage garter, black wig. And then... I'm not even sure what happened, the shoot just wasn't going as well as it had the week before. So he pulls out a box of fetish gear and tells me to pick something. Hmmm. I've never shot fetish before. It's just not me (I'm so girl next door it's disgusting). But there was a chain on a collar that I thought could be fun in a Princess Leia in the golden bikini sort of way, so I thought "sure, what the hell" and went for it.

No. No no no, bad, wrong.

 See that? That is what wanting to be Princess Leia gets you. First of all, let's talk about black lace thongs for a moment, because that is what I was wearing. See where one end of that chain is? His hand. The other end? Threaded THROUGH MY THONG. He kept pulling the chain and it kept pulling the thong farther and farther up my ass. I mean, seriously, there is a limit at how far those things can go. Once it gets there it fucking HURTS, especially when you keep pulling at it.

And then the hair? Excuse me? First of all, I realize this is a photo of a doll and you're going to think that her body contortion is because she is made of plastic. Not true, friends. Well, I mean, she is plastic, but the point is that if you have me chained up and then pull me up by my hair this is also what I looked like. Yeah, it does look painful and unnatural. And it was.

And who just fucking grabs someone's hair? His excuse was that he wanted my expressions to be more "real." No. No, that is not ok. Why? Because this entire business is based in illusion, fantasy, figments of imagination. I don't like it when fat men ask me to jump on their stomach, but I pretend that I do. I don't want to watch real people porn, because their orgasms are boring. I want the fancy fake orgasms from high production value porn. So if you need to fucking PULL ME BY MY HAIR to get a "real" look of pain on my face, well great, you'll get a look of pain on my face because that FUCKING HURT.

The question is, who the hell wants to look at that?

I mean, maybe people do. But I'm thinking fetish work just isn't for me.

Also, walking into "Real Job" this morning was a little awkward when I have chain burn around my neck. I felt like I was trying to hide a hickey from the rest of my classmates back in highschool so I didn't get called a slut.

(Don't worry, they called me a slut anyway)