Taxi

So yesterday was halloween. I'm a huge fan of dressing up - it's the one time out of the year where no one thinks I'm crazy when I doll up in full makeup and outfit-that-is-more-costume-than-clothes, but I'm at that shitty age where my cohorts think dressing up is lame and really there is no where to go in costume anyway, because no one has costume balls or if they do, I certainly can't afford to go to them. Last year I dressed as a unicorn in full white body paint and yarn tail and ended up at a house party where A) I looked like a fool with my costume partner who was a Narwhal because really no one else dressed up and B) we couldn't figure out where to go in costume anyway, so we just sat around watching the World Series. Perfect waste of good latex body paint.

I knew this year would be more of the same, so I didn't even bother with a costume. I pulled out an old 80s prom dress and stuck  a flower in my hair to hand out candy. All the little girls who came to the door cooed over the "princess" who gave them candy. Then when the children had gone, I dressed up in drag and went to the local bar to watch Sunday Night Football. That was funny at least, I make an ugly man and ended up looking like the unibomber, but still, it took the bartender who knows me a little while to realize who I was.

But the real story was earlier in the day, when I had a photoshoot. There is a photog who I work with whenever he comes to town (every other month or so) and we generally shoot content for the pay site I'm on. This time he had a fun idea: to shot various states of undress in the back of a taxi cab as it drove around town. I thought it could be cool, but also was a little concerned: what if we offended said taxi driver's morals or sensibilities if his fare started stripping in the back of the cab?

Obviously, we planned on asking permission to shoot photos before we got in the cab anyway, but I tend to be rather blunt and I wasn't sure how to simply say "hey there, can I get naked in your cab? Kthanksbye"

In the end, the outfit I wore solved the issue. Who didn't love Vivian Ward

 

and the runway looks she inspired?

Basically, I walked down a major road in an outfit similar to above (a dress [shirt?] with garters showing and black thigh highs) past a row of cabs. The one that craned his neck to keep looking as I walked past? He was the one we asked.

So there I am, in the back of the cab, pulling up my dress, practically hanging out the cab window trying to get enough room to make good angles and not flash my vagina to ALL of the parkway when I noticed something: it was a Sunday morning on Halloween weekend. There were slutty nurses, slutty cows, slutty Jersey Shore Housemates, slutty fairies, and Lady Gagas walking home confused, hung over, and likely on their way to purchase Plan-B. No one was paying attention to my subtle flash of labia.

The moral here is that the early morning after a city's night of costumed casualties is the PERFECT time to slip past the radar unnoticed...