Bastards

So I was mugged last week. Mugged. By three 15 year old punks.

It makes blogging a little harder - currently I have a GIANT black eye from getting clocked in the face and have had to cancel many a photoshoot and personal encounter because I look like a hot mess.

The thing that is really annoying, though, is that although my neighbors came to my aid (and I got my things back) I am downright terrified of going outside when it gets dark. Which really sucks.

Back to the Feet

So the foot party went well. I was only there for 2 hours and I made a decent amount of money. This is partly, I think, because I was missed. The few regulars I have threw money at me to see me again. I still can't fathom the fact that I GET PAID TO GET MY FEET RUBBED.

And it was good this time. All foot guys, not a single dude secretly there for a blowjob. At least the guys I spoke with. And i got a $50 tip for having awesome feet!

Part of me is interested in my response to foot stimulation in a sexual setting. While I admit that the massages feel good, they don't really work for me in a sexual way. But at the same time, I can understand how it might. I generally don't give too much credence to new age practices but I am beginning to think there is something to reflexology: when certain parts of my feet are touched or caressed I can feel it on different parts of the body. ONE of them has to affect my ladybits.

On the otherhand, what if I do find that  I like it? I think the reason I am so comfortable with the foot fetish work is that to me it is decidedly non-sexual. Maybe it is best to not mess with that...

Oh well, you know what, I shouldn't say there were no creeps. There was one guy there - halitosis man. He was happy to see me again and to tell me that he spent all this time jacking off to me. Gee, thanks. And then he tells me he is going to try to set up a private session for he and I because he really REALLY wants to watch porn with me.

And then he stuck his tongue down my throat before I could dodge him. But he was just a 5 minute blip on a pretty normal (you know, for a fetish club) night.

Feet, the remix

Well, it seems that the Foot club is back up and running. I got an email informing me that although they had run into some undisclosed issues, the bed eggs (both male and female) had been weeded out and they were going to return to their roots: no more lapdance party or "super private" nights.

Phew.

So next week I will be going back to the club for the first time in a long time. Hopefully it will be fun, like it was when I started, and not the "i'm going to pressure you for a blowjob" bullshit it slowly turned into.

We shall see.

Mouth Taped Shut: pressed flowers and viral 'Dragon Tattoo' treasure hunts

Apparently they are making an American film version of Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Ok, nothing too special about that, right? Except someone has made the best viral marketing campaign ever... there is an interactive Tumblr account, Twitter feed, and other creepy websites that lead internet views on a real life treasure hunt. So far there have been clues hidden in vintage movie stills (or what I assume are movie stills) that lead you to a website. That website has a photo of a location and GPS coordinates. Somewhere at that GPS local us the image in the photo and hidden there is a wrapped, framed, dried, pressed flower. Pretty much exactly like the ones I make and sell online.

Mine:

Theirs:

Now to be fair, mine are not reproductions (actual props?) from the movie. And they don't come with the director's signature, although *I* sign them (and I am pretty cool). But there are only 40 flowers in the world of the book... and I bet there are more than 40 people out there who want these. So yes, I will jump on this fad, even though I'm not really because i've been selling these dried pressed flowers for over 2 years. 

But hey, as I am writing this I got a sale and I haven't even changed all my key words to #mouthtapedshut or #GWTDT or Viral Flower Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Treasure Hunt, yet. 

Please, god, keep your pants on: part deux

Hey guys, guess what. Remember that feeling I had yesterday about Capt. Creep? Yeah, I'm pretty good at these things. HE ANSWERED THE FUCKING DOOR IN A FUCKING TOWEL WHEN I SHOWED UP.

A towel that he was not interested in trading in for some pants when I politely requested that he do so. And under ANY other circumstances, I would have thrown the money back at him and booked it out, but rent. What do you do?

Right and then his towel "fell off" as he was shooting.

Have you ever seen a photographer attempting to shoot a model one handed? Because I have. I have, because as I was posed with my face away from him, I noticed that it was taking him longer and longer to snap the shutter. But, it IS really hard to manually focus your camera when you are PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS WHEN YOU THINK THE MODEL ISN'T LOOKING.

Look, I knew I was engaging in a type of prostitution when I took this gig. His photos are shit. He doesn't know how to light (hell, he didn't even HAVE a lighting set up) and the photos are not creative. In the business he is what we call a GWC or Guy With Camera. He likes pretty girls and bought himself a fancy camera so he has a reason to be in the company of pretty girls. In exchange, the pretty girls give him some model time in exchange for his money. Because let's be honest, if you are an amazing photographer, I am not going to charge you because we are going to make some art. But if your photos are shitty, I am there to take you money, and then I'm done. Model prostitution.

NOT ACTUAL PROSTITUTION.


And what gets me is that if you get off on touching yourself while you take photos of a naked girl, then why don't you hire an actual prostitute?
1) I happen to know girls in this city that charge less than $100/hr to actually perform sex acts, so why not pay a girl that will actually do things to you?
2) If you don't want the sex and really do just want to touch yourself with a pretty girl around IT WOULD BE EVEN CHEAPER TO HIRE A HOOKER.
3) Why on Earth would you think that is ok? If you plan on being naked and touching yourself, those are terms that need to be set BEFORE the photoshoot. He complained to me that off of his models look uncomfortable in photos. WELL NO SHIT.

Please, god, keep your pants on

Readers,

In 12 hours I will be meeting a "photographer" at a hotel in town to take photos. I will be nude in said photos. I am charging said man $100/hr to have this privilege. I also made sure to inform him he will be paying me cash, upfront, before a single stitch of my clothing comes off.

But the email exchange we have been having leads me to think I am heading into a disaster.

Here are some email highlights!

Capt. Creep to me

Sep 28

Oh, sorry :).   But that sounds good.  By the way, do you have any full nude samples?  Your mm port is partial only.  Thanks!

Craftitute to Capt. Creep

Sep 28

Really? Even with workmode off? But I can send you a trial to []....that is the site I publish on. Give me a minute and then check your spam folder if it doesn't show

For the record, there are photos of me nude on my MM port. I have no idea why he couldn't see that. He has his own MM portfolio, so I am thinking he is aware how the site works.

Capt. Creep to me

Sep 28

I just saw that...thanks.  I'll take a look later since I am at work and can't access [] from here....they frown upon naked pictures of women at work :)

Capt. Creep to me

Sep 28

Yeah, they're pretty strict at my office and I can't get in to anything.

Oh, so you still tried to look at them at work anyway. That's a great idea. Nothing is better than trying to look at porn at work.

Capt. Creep to me

Sep 29

ok i was finally able to view some of the pics....very hot!  can't wait to shoot with you, it will be fun, and maybe you can even take a few of me! :)  (Don't worry...i do some modeling too, so I'm not too bad to look at) 

What? No! NO NO NO! I am a MODEL. YOU take photos of ME. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. I am not interested in taking pictures of you.

Capt. Creep to me

Oct 17 (6 days ago)

Can you do 9?  Also, with regards to location...I need to figure that out still, but it will be at a nice hotel in Center City.  I'm looking forward to it too...I'm finally meeting someone else that likes being nude as much as I do! :)

Uh... WTF? Are you planning on taking your pants off, because I will mace your ass. I do not "like" being nude. I don't dislike it, but the reason you are going to be in the room with me while I am naked is because you are HIRING ME to DO THAT. This is not a social gathering.

I have a feeling this will go totally wrong. And if it wasn't for the fact that I literally will not make my November rent without this $200 payment, I would cancel in a heartbeat as I am getting a BAD. VIBE.

The one where she cut off her hair

So as I mentioned in this post I recently cut off my hair with a knife. Don't worry though, it was all for a good cause. Er, no, cause isn't the right word, but I did benefit from it... so maybe the cause could be considered me. And I am a good cause. So, nevermind, I did do it for a good cause.

But in either case, I did cut off my hair with a knife, and I put it to use: I had a photographer there documenting the whole crazy process. It is now posted online, and I am making money from it. Not a ton. But at this writing I have made $44 whole dollars from my emotional distress! AMAZING.

Also, my hair? Red now.

I am hoping that I get some sympathy cash for said emotional distress. I mean, really... who cheats on me with a Jeresy girl?